The Great Dog Race
(It starts with an exterior of the Loud House, inside his room, Lincoln is playing morning music on a trumpet, waking up Charles) Lincoln: Good morning, Charles! (Charles barks) Lincoln: (to the viewers) Dogs, man's best friend, even mine. I don't even know what I'd do without a dog like Charles. (Pets Charles's head) (At Mr. Grouse's house, a delivery man knocks on his door, he answers) Delivery Man: Package for you. (shows a pet carrier) Mr. Grouse: It finally came! Thank you! I've been waiting for this since 3 weeks ago. (signs some papers) Delivery Man: Thank you, Mr.... Grouch. Mr. Grouse: (annoyed) That's Grouse! Lincoln: Huh, I wonder what Mr. Grouse ordered. Leni: Let's go see. (Mr. Grouse leaves his house while walking a pink poodle named Cherry, he meets up with Lincoln, Leni, and Charles) Leni: Wow! It looks like Mr. Grouse ordered a new dog. Lincoln: Wow, fancy! So that's what came in the mail today! (to Charles) Well Charles, it looks like you got yourself a new playmate. Mr. Grouse: Pssh! Dream on, Loud! I Would never let Cherry play with that mongrel mutt! She's a purebred! Leni: Wow! A dog made of bread! It'll be sad when she expires though. Mr. Grouse: NO! Purebred means she's over the highest pedigree. (Holds up a piece of paper) See? She even has her own papers. So if you'll excuse us, Cherry has to start her training. Lincoln: For what? Mr. Grouse: The 87th Annual Royal Woods Dog Race, Cherry will be winning this Sunday. Leni: Sunday? Lincoln: Well, I guess I can't enter Charles in that. Sunday's laundy day. Mr. Grouse: No, Loud! You can't enter Charles because he's a mutt! Leni: Hey! You can't insult Charles! Lincoln: Yeah! What makes you think Charles can't enter? Mr. Grouse: (Holds up a piece of paper) Papers. Lincoln: (angry) Why I oughtta! Leni: Linky, calm down! Lincoln: (calms down) Thanks. (to Mr. Grouse) How about a little wager? Mr. Grouse: Try me. Lincoln: Whoever wins the race, will keep the loser's dog! Mr. Grouse: Deal! Come on, Cherry. (They go back to Mr. Grouse's house) Lincoln: (panics) What am I gonna do, Leni? If Mr. Grouse's dog wins, I'll lose Charles! Leni: (gasps) I got an idea! Lincoln: What? Leni: If I adopt another dog, and enter it in the race, I'll beat Mr. Grouse! Lincoln: What does that have to do with Charles and the bet? Leni: Well since Charles is my dog too, you'll win the bet! Lincoln: Well, wish me luck, Leni! Leni: (runs into the Loud House) Thanks, Linky! Lincoln: (to Charles) Well buddy, are you thinking what I'm thinking? (Charles imagines himself watching TV on the couch) Lincoln: No, no, no! I was thinking we should beat Mr. Grouse so we can win the bet! And you'll get a new friend out of it, too! (he runs off and comes back wearing a coach's outfit) Your training begins.... NOW! I'll be an amazing coach! Mostly better than Lynn. I mean sheesh! What a spoil sport! (to audience) Am I right folks? (Cut to Lynn reading a sport biography in her & Lucy's room) Lynn: Huh, I don't know why, but I think I'm gonna kick Lincoln's butt tomorrow. (Cuts to Lincoln & Charles in the kitchen) Lincoln: (Opens a can) Powdered Milk for muscle mass, (drops the food in the blender) raw eggs for cliche reasons, (drops eggs in blender) and nails for toughness! (Drops nails in blender, turns it on) Charles: Arf? Lincoln: Well of course I expect you to eat this. (pours some of the blended food in Charles's food dish) It's guarunteed to help you win tomorrow. Charles? (Charles is already out of the kitchen. Lincoln stops his stopwatch) Hmm, not bad. Leni: Hey, Lincoln! Check out this dog I rented for the race! *holds up a cute puppy* Lincoln: *awed* Awww!! But, are you aware it's a puppy? Leni: I'm sorry! It was so cute! I couldn't resist! *walks off* See you at the race! Lincoln: Boy, this is gonna be harder than I thought... (walks over to Charles watching TV) That's it, Charles! (takes out a leash) We are gonna start some serious training right now. Charles: Bark! Lincoln: (puts leash on Charles, who gets pulled out of the room) Alright, Charles. We'll start with sprints. (holds up a stopwatch) On your mark. Get set. GO! Go, Charles, go! Come on, go, Charles! It's all yours, Charles! (notices Charles isn't there) Charles? (walks up to Charles, who's watching TV again) Come on Charles, the big race is tomorrow! You gotta start training if you wanna stay! Mr. Grouse: (enters the house) Don't waste your breath, Loud! That mongrel of yours is as good as mine! He doesn't stand a chance against Cherry. Leni: Hey! Stop insulting Charles! Or you're gonna make me, and my dog Jim really mad! (shows her puppy) Mr. Grouse: Loud, that's a puppy. Leni: I couldn't resist! Alright? Mr. Grouse: Anywho, don't bother showing up tomorrow! (exits the house) Leni: Wow, what a jerk. Lincoln: Well, thanks for standing up Leni, but me & Charles gotta get back to business. (picks up Chalres and walks off) Leni: Oh boy. I hope he doesn't go full drill sargaent on Charles. Lincoln: Alright Charles, no more fooling around. Time to get serious. (scene cuts to Lincoln blowing on a whistle) Come on, Charles, move it! (scene cuts to Charles climbing up and down a wall) Up, up, up, up! Down, down, down, down! (scene cuts to Charles tearing a punching bag with his teeth) Faster, faster, faster! Go, go, go! (scene cuts to Lincoln following Charles on his bike) Come on, push it, Gary, push it! (scene cuts to Charles drinking out of the toilet) Move that tongue! (scene cuts to Charles in the shower with Lincoln looking through the curtains) Come on, Charles, move it! (scene cuts to Charles eating) Let's go, let's go, let's go! Faster! (scene cuts to nighttime. Charles is on an exercise wheel while Lincoln is sleeping but giving orders at the same time) Let's go, let's go! Speed it up, speed it up, speed it up! Move it, Charles! Move it, move it, move it, move it... (scene cuts to morning, where Charles is tired, out of breath, and on a leash) Stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke. (Charles is pulling Lincoln in a wagon) Come on, Charles, we're gonna be late for the big race! (scene cuts to an announcer) Francisco: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to our live coverage of this year's annual spring classic, the 87th Annual Royal Woods Dog Race. And what a beautiful day for this sport of kings, of which I am a huge fan. Seriously, I'm just a fan. I was on my way to my seat, the door was open. Announcer: Hey, what are you doing?! (Francisco runs away as the announcer comes and sits down) Heh, sorry about that, folks. Let's go down to the field to join the mayor for the pre-game ceremony. (scene cuts to the mayor standing by a microphone) Mayor: And now, for the lighting of the Torch of Good Sportsmanship, please join me in welcoming dog racing's first-ever champion, Thunder Tex Boneswood! (crowd cheers as the band plays. Tex runs with a flame torch in his mouth) Announcer: Would you look at that, folks? Thunder Tex Boneswood, a living legend, making his way center stage. And what a proud moment for this sport. The crowd is going absolutely nuts for Tex! (crowd is cheering) Tex: (lights the big torch) Mayor: The torch is lit! Let the race begin! (the crowd cheers. Cut to the playing field, where Lincoln and Mr. Grouse are standing at the starting line. The dogs have markers: Cherry is #6, a very worn out Charles is #7, and Jim is #8) Mr. Grouse: Well Loud, I'll admit, I didn't think that mongrel mutt of yours would even find the starting line. Congratulations. (laughs) Lincoln: Save it for the Loser Circle, Grouse. Charles happens to be in the best shape of his life. (Charles is coughing) Mr. Grouse: I'll alert the paramedics. Leni: Hey! Leave them alone! Official: Everybody ready? Leni: (screams) Burglar! Lincoln: No, Leni. He's the official. Leni: Oh, right! Official: We're ready to start here, folks! Mr. Grouse: Okay, Cherry, let's show these common, garden-variety dogs what superior breeding is all about. Cherry: Arf. Lincoln: Alright Charles, listen up, the competition is going to be fierce. You're the underdog. If we win, you'll never live with Mr. Grouse. Now get out there and win, so I can keep you! Charles: Bark! Leni: This is what you've been training for, Jim. This is why we're here. To help Linky. Official: (raises flag) On your mark. Get set. (lowers flag) Go! Cherry: (runs first) Announcer: And they're off! Number six, Cherry, rockets out of the starting blocks, leaving the other two competitors in the dust! Lincoln: WHAT?!? (runs over to Charles) Mr. Grouse: Go, Cherry! You got this in the bag! Lincoln: What are you doing, Charles?! The race has started! You let SnellieCherry take the lead! Let's go, Charles. Start moving! You're blowing everything we trained for! Blowing it! Leni: It's okay, Jim. You go when you feel like it. Lincoln: Charles, are you listening to me?! Get the bricks out of your pants right now! (Charles tries to move fast) Don't give me that look! I said now, mister! Get going, Charles! (Lincoln jumps up and down while Charles runs) Go, go, go, go, go! Announcer: And there goes number 7 out of the starting gate. Oh, hang on, folks. He doesn't look so good. Lincoln: Not good enough, Charles, not good enough! Faster! (Charles tries to go faster) Come on, Gary, it's a race! A race! Have you heard of 'em?! (Charles's eyes are now really small) Faster, Charles, faster, faster, faster, faster! (Charles's left eye turns red) Huh? Crowd: (GASP) Announcer: Oh, looks like number 7 has a blowout! (Charles's other eye turns red) Oops, make that 2, folks. Lincoln: Uhh, Charles? (Charles's legs become twisted) Announcer: Plus, twisted legs! Oh, and the poor creature's still going for it. Lincoln: (worried) Uh, Charles? You can stop now. Announcer: He's losing control! (Charles bounces off the walls like a pinball) Lincoln: You can take a break now if you want to, Charles. (Charles spins on the track) Announcer: He's spinning out of control! (Crowd gasps) He's heading straight for the wall! (Charles runs into a wall and lays down, wounded. Crowd gasps, then cheers) Lincoln: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Mr. Grouse: (laughs) Leni: (gasps) Charles! Lincoln: Hold on, Charles, I'm coming! (runs onto the track) Announcer: Whoa. One of the coaches seems to have raced onto the track. That is an automatic disqualification. Looks like number six has this race all wrapped up, ladies and gentlemen. (Cherry comes up to the finish line) Mr. Grouse: YES! That Loud dog is mine! Lincoln: (runs up to Charles, crying) Oh, Charles, I'm sorry! Why didn't you just say I was pushing it too hard?! Charles: (weakly) Bark... Lincoln: You did? (cries more) Oh, Gary, why didn't you tell me I wasn't listening?! Charles: (weakly) Bark... Lincoln: Seriously? (cries some more) Oh, Charles! Oh, Charles! Please don't go with Mr. Grouse! I LOVE YOU! Cherry: Arf! (turns around and heads straight to Charles to save him from Mr. Grouse) Mr. Grouse: WHAT?!?! (Charles notices Cherry runnig towards him and he is back to normal now) Lincoln: Charles? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c0I23tQaZM Charles and Cherry start snuggling each other) Oh! Crowd: Awww! Announcer: (laughs) My, oh, my. Folks, I have never seen anything quite like this. It seems Cherry, the leader, just went back to comfort Charles. Mr. Grouse: (walks up to where the dogs are at) But that's impossible! If Cherry didn't win, then... (Jim is at the finish line) Announcer: And the winner is Jim! (Leni cries, the crowd goes wild) Mr. Grouse: I can't believe it. My purebred, which cost me $1,700, lost to a puppy. Leni: Can we keep Cherry? Lincoln: A deal's a deal Mr. Grouse. Mr. Grouse: Okay. You can have her. I'll give you her papers and whatnot. Lincoln: Welocme to the family Cherry! Leni: Oh and Mr. Grouse (holds a trophy), since I wanna be a good sport, I had the trophy engraved for you. Mr. Grouse: Wow! Thanks, Loud! 'The 1st Place Dog Racing Cup Presented to Mr.... (we see the engraving and the camera zooms in on Mr. Grouse's misspelled last name)... Garbage Can?!?! Lincoln: Well, we had to end on a joke! (everybody laughs until Lynn interrupts the moment and punchines Lincoln in the arm) Ow! Lynn: That was for yesterday, Lame-O! Charles, Cherry, & Jim: (growl at Lynn) Lynn: What? (the dogs chase Lynn out of the arena and onto the streets) ARGHHHH!!!! Charles, Cherry, & Jim: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! THE END Category:Episodes